10-8 Courtship

Lord Give Me

Life is always up or down,

or yes, or no.

But there is one person who is always a yes.

Though with the usual human complexities.

Lord, give me a few more years

to enjoy such confusion.

~Mary Oliver

What if that “one person” were you?

Not in a narcissistic way, but in a “your ‘human complexities’ are the doorway to your experience of your world” way, or “your ‘confusion’ is the key to your knowing” way.

I think of Mary Oliver, undoubtedly my favorite poet because her love-affair with the miraculousness of the mundanities of the world is both passionate and deep–I can’t imagine a single day goes by in which she doesn’t pause to marvel at God in some ordinary detail.  At 73, she offers the prayer in the above poem for a few more years to steep in her life.  At 29, I pray that I can continue to find the passion she has to seek out presence every day, even if only for a few minutes.

After last month’s newsletter in which I talked about practice as relationship, I heard fellow yoga teacher Kira Ryder describe yoga as a “courtship of the Self.”  I love this, because it speaks to the excitement and the challenge of coming to know one’s Self (higher Self, Divine Self) through one’s self (individual self).  It’s about coming to know our divinity through our humanity.  (Which, by the way, is the only way.)

And yet it’s common to say “I’ll go to my mat when I don’t feel so _____” (insert any human condition/emotion here).  Or “I’ll practice at home when I know enough about yoga or meditation to feel like I know what I’m doing.”  But the reason why this doesn’t work is that our condition as humans is one of complexity and not knowing—you’re always going to feel like something’s not quite right or you could know more!  In order to experience simplicity and knowing you have to connect with your Self, and in order to do that you have to rest into your self in the present moment.

And so here’s the challenge: court your Self. Not in the way you would court someone in high school—by making sure your hair is perfect and you are always at your coolest—but simply by going out of your way to make time for that person—YOU.

So the invitation is: spend 10 minutes a day with your Self for the next 8 days. Maybe it’s in meditation, maybe yoga, maybe something else (like simply lying flat on your back on the floor—one of my favorite things to do!)—anything that invites the possibility of Yoga (union with the divine) by bringing your consciousness to the here and now of being YOU. Being you—so you can’t be doing something else at the same time.

I’m calling this the 10-8 Courtship.  I’m inviting you to do it because I don’t think there is anything more powerful than this practice—than this relationship with your Self.  It’s the foundation for all sorts of transformation and transpersonal development—and everyone can do it. Even you.

I know it can be really hard to do this in your own home by yourself with life and your family whizzing all around.  The thing is, you aren’t alone. You’re doing this with everyone else in the world who takes time out of their day to court their Self. And the very act of you doing this affects everyone else in the world.  Especially the people closest to you.

And just so you feel less alone, I invite you to use this blog to share your experience—How do you spend your 10 minutes? What time of day? Where? What’s hard about it? What’s lovely?  What surprises you?

It’s only 10 minutes for 8 days. Are you in?

Your Self is waiting.

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